Center Parcs. Is it worth it?

An unbiased review

Last weekend, I went to Center Parcs for the first time with my husband and three year old, as well as four other couples and their army of children. I’ve been asked a lot about what I really thought of it (in my DMs) and decided I’d gather my thoughts here. I wasn’t invited in any PR capacity, so I’ll be brutally honest. 

First off, I would say you’d want your head examined to go there, especially at Christmastime, if you are not a parent or at least there with other people’s children. Besides the spa - which is incredible - the rest of the place is designed with kids in mind (as it should be!) Now if you intend to spend the majority of your time at the spa and cycling around the national park in which it’s situated, you might escape the kiddie carnage and have a lovely time. But if you’re looking for a romantic meal out for two, this is definitely not the place for it (unless you’re okay with the idea of a two year old projectile vomiting at the table next to you because they imbibed a tad too much pool water). 

If you’re headed there with kids in tow, however, you’re in for a treat. But you will come back utterly exhausted, so don’t expect it to be a break of any kind for you. My friend all but spat out her tea when I realised on day two that maybe it wasn’t going to be a relaxing getaway for us. The beauty of it, for our group, lay not so much in all the things you can do, but in the fact that you don’t have to worry at all about your kid climbing the walls while out for dinner or having a nuclear meltdown in the supermarket. Parents are relaxed because we’re all in it together - everyone’s kids are hyper and jacked up on sugar - and kids are happy not just because of what surrounds them but because their parents are relaxed too. If your kid is eating someone else’s spaghetti bolognese off the floor under the table, you don’t really care; you are sipping your prosecco in blissful ignorance.

The grounds are fantastic. It’s big but well designed so nothing feels too far a trek but you’re also not on top of each other. The cabins are so picturesque and while the comfort of the beds could be better, the accommodation is warm and cosy with stunning views all around. Our group had three houses in a row but we had decided early doors to take one house for ourselves so as to give our son a chance for some quiet time as and when he needed it (he likes to have a lot of quiet time and ‘rests’, bless him). We paid about 1200 total for the lodge for three nights and it was possibly one of the more expensive lodges given how close it was to the central village where you’ll find the Subtropical pool, restaurants and shops. The place was decorated to perfection (but if you want your lodge decorated you have to pay extra). Christmas music filled the (freezing cold) air but not to the extent that it would drive you insane. The Christmas village, set up for this time of year, was magical. Some of my friends cried because of how special it felt for them. And maybe because of the mulled wine. And because their kids haven’t grown into little nightmare toddlers yet. The food was okay, I had some pretty decent meals, but you’re not going there for the food. I liked everything I had but my friends ordered some of the Indian as take out and said it was pretty grim. We booked The Pancake House as a treat for the Sunday but the pancakes were only okay; a bit disappointing given they had one job. Still, though, we were all well fed and watered and you can cook all your meals in the lodges if you feel that way inclined.

In advance of going we were advised to book as much as we could to avoid disappointment. There was a panic around booking activities in the same way you worry about getting Taylor Swift tickets. We made some reservations for food which for the most part were unnecessary as there was plenty of availability. You don’t have to book the pool, which is great, as this will no doubt be your main activity each day, but the busiest time is around 11am. It opens at 10am which is late considering most kids have their parents up since the arse crack of dawn. By 10 it feels like afternoon. It’s more pleasant in the afternoon, so a swim before dinner is recommended. On the subject of getting organised in advance, we did a bit of a food shop on our way down and I was flapping trying to get all of the basic essentials but their on-site supermarket is so well stocked and I didn’t find it to be any more expensive than usual. If I went again I probably wouldn’t bother with the pre-shop. 

The pool area has something for everyone and best of all, it’s really warm. You can rent towels there to use but most people bring their own. Before we headed down, upon learning that we’d have to pay to use towels at the pool and pay five euro deposits per head for any meal bookings, I was beginning to expect them to charge us for the oxygen we breath while there. While it’s certainly not a budget getaway, it is worth it. 

Before I became a parent, had you transported me to Centerparcs for a meal at 5pm on a Saturday, I would probably have described it as my idea of hell. But once you become a parent your expectations massively shift; if you can get through a meal without someone pissing their pants at the table, and you manage to finish your own meal and enjoy a drink and some semblance of conversation, it feels like you’ve hit the jackpot. 

The evening parade of Santa’s sleigh through the village, as the whole place twinkled and rosy-cheeked kids looked on in amazement, was a real highlight. It is the perfect place to bring your kids, but even better if you can make it more of a group thing (this meant the mammies could book in an evening at the spa which was necessary to decompress). I can see our enjoyment of it only increasing as the years go on and our son becomes old enough to explore more of what’s on offer. Plus it’s only an hour and a bit from Dublin. 

Book ahead, pack at least two coats (to wear at the same time because it is THAT cold), as well as plenty of ugly Christmas jumpers and be prepared to roll with the carnage. It’s likely you’ll have to vacate the pool because someone will inevitably take a shit in it, but it will be fine. And there’s a bar at the pool. Surrender to the festive chaos and make the kind of memories we only dreamed of as kids ourselves. I’m about to rebook for next year.