Why anxious women love horror

Let's hypothesise

For the week that's in it ('Boo', etc), what better time to write about the horror film genre and its close cousin, true crime? Now, as someone plagued by anxiety at every stage of life thus far, you'd think I'd give scary movies a wide berth. Quite the contrary: I gravitate towards them. It's not something I can do alone, mind you; I can't even handle a scary movie trailer if I'm by myself. But if I have company, and I can calculate that it will be at least a few weeks before my husband has to go away again or even be out for the night, then a good pants-shitting horror always seems like a good idea. I watch (or instead, I peak from behind the safety of a cushion), anticipating the jumps and scares and feeling at points like I might cry with fear. Oddly, I enjoy the whole experience but then as soon as it's over, and I'm expected to go and pee alone without holding someone's hand while I do it, and walk upstairs in the dark all by myself (I'm 36), I immediately regret it. Every towel hanging over a door frame becomes a sinister hooded figure. If It's summertime, I'm even more screwed: leave a foot hanging out of your duvet to regulate your temperature, and you can be sure it will be reefed, along with your whole body, down the hallway by some paranormal demon. It's even harder now that I co-sleep with my 4-year-old son (a fat lot of use he'll be if some otherworldly entity comes to claim me). It always takes a few weeks for the effects of the scary movie to fully dissolve in my mind, feeling especially potent at night. My husband suggests that if I cannot shake the heebeegeebees nor separate what is clearly fiction from what is real, maybe I should stick with rom-coms. I agree. I don't do well with horror, clearly. But then I get the goo again. 

Why? Why, as someone with plenty of anxiety coursing through her veins as is, do I do this to myself? I have some theories - some based on research around the psychology of horror movies, and others just a hunch. 

I was interested to learn that according to a 2019 review of horror psychology research, this genre is more popular among men and, in particular, those who already have a low baseline of fearfulness. Not only that, it was also watched more frequently by those who experience low levels of empathy. Arguably, such attributes would make a scary movie easier to handle (though surely less impactful at the same time?), and maybe, with next to no anxiety in their lives to begin with, such beings crave the spike in stress hormones, similar to adrenaline junkies. I saw an Instagram post recently with a quote where somebody had asked the question: 'If men didn't exist, who would protect you?' and the response was, 'Protect me from who?' It might be a generalisation, but collectively, men carry much less fear for their safety than women, which might explain why men would be more curious to have their fear responses triggered in movie theatres. But it still doesn't explain why horror would be so appealing to an anxious female such as myself.

Part of it, I think, comes from a need to repair. I was forced to watch a lot of truly terrifying movies when I was far too young. I hung around with a bunch of girls a year or two older than me (which is the equivalent of dog years when you're prepubescent), and for every 13th birthday, we were subjected to a sleepover with a horror movie. I say 'forced' and 'subjected' not because I was pinned down with my eyelids stapled open but because if you didn't row in with the group, you were swiftly ejected (yeah, fun times). You did what was 'cool' even if it gave you diarrhoea, which it did every time. My parents wouldn't have known about it, and I wasn't going to commit social suicide by telling them. I can still remember how strong that feeling of fear would have been (enhanced by being out of my literal comfort zone and with some girls that I must have known on some level did not give two shits about me) and how I felt I had no choice in the matter. But now I do. So, in some way, I think that watching horror movies now as an adult, in a secure environment with secure relationships, where I have agency, must be born of some deep-seated need to show myself that I'm okay. To repair that little piece of developmental damage. A particular kind of inner child work, perhaps. 

Then there's my experience of anxiety and, with it, a need for control. On that note, my husband always finds it mad that I am far more frightened of paranormal, ghostly types of stories than axe-wielding serial killer stuff. The supernatural is, he argues, far less likely (depending on your beliefs), while a serial killer can and does exist in real life. But my argument is this: I can control my actions and whereabouts as best I can to mitigate my proximity to a raging serial killer. I cannot do anything about the geography of poltergeists. If they're coming for me, they're coming for me. The former I can control (within reason), the latter I cannot, and the lack of control is most terrifying. 

Watching horror movies (even if they're paranormal) allows me to experience fear in a way that is controlled. I am in control of my environment. I can turn it off at any point. Women, who have to contemplate fear nearly every day on some level, can indulge their curiosity in the worst-case scenarios from a safe place. There is a beginning, middle and end to the fear. The fear most often reaches a peak and then settles down. There is typically some form of resolution (although less so in more modern horror movies, which I'm not happy about). I think this is also why I'll always choose a true crime over a comedy. Not only is it more engaging viewing, it taps into the part of our psyche - as women - that feels afraid all of the goddamn time. From my limited psychology knowledge, our brains scramble for more information when we feel afraid. We need to game things out and know everything so that we can solve the problem and get ourselves to safety. Watching true crime (and plenty of horror movies, too) brings us up close and personal with our worst fears (for example, the fear of walking home at night and being followed by a man who is going to put you in harm's way), allowing the information-gathering part of our brains (which swing into action as the antidote to fear) a chance to experience what it might be like so that we can know what not to do or how best to protect ourselves if we do wind up in such a situation. We get to simulate fear, staring down the barrel of our worst nightmares and seeing how we would respond - what we would think and feel and do. Women may be more motivated to watch horror or true crime because it engages our survival drive. I don't know how much of a psychological basis there is to that, but it makes sense to me. 

Another reason I think I like it is intimacy. Not sexual, but being protected by my husband. For most of our TV viewing, we sit on opposite couches. I like to stretch out more than I like to be wedged between his arm and his armpit. However, put on a horror show and I have to be glued to him. And it's nice. Though it's lacking in representation of non-heterosexual relationships, the limited research uses the term' snuggle theory' to explain why some straight women might like to watch horror with their straight male partners: it confirms our gender roles, with the man being less jumpy and less troubled by the horror unfolding and therefore able to protect the woman who feels the fear to a greater extent. It's all generalisations but food for thought nonetheless. 

Lastly, I think we all have some element of masochistic tendency. It's human nature to need to press on the pain side of the pain-pleasure balance (need I remind you of cold plunges in ice buckets?). It's also human nature to feel fear and be familiar with it so we can troubleshoot it when it inevitably arises. I'm not sure if this is a term that exists or one I'm making up, but I think horror and true crime afford me a sort of masochistic escapism. It's not pleasant, so it's not what you think of when you think of escapism, and it is masochistic because you're doing it to yourself. It does not feel good in the moment, but watching a horror movie pulls you so far into what's happening that you cannot possibly ruminate on whatever ails you in your own life. You could describe it as an extreme form of mindfulness because you are most certainly rooted in the present moment, hanging on every move made by the protagonists and looking over every on-screen shoulder. You're not wondering what you'll cook for dinner tomorrow. You're not questioning the wording of an email you sent earlier that day. And for those 90 or so minutes, I'm not trying to figure out the real issue of my day-to-day life at the moment: navigating my son's debilitating separation anxiety. It's a complete switch-off.  

For all of these reasons and against my better judgment, I'll probably sit down to something deeply unsettling on Halloween night. Got any good recs? An old classic is What Lies Beneath (ghosty vibes), and the last thing I watched that caused a tremor through my intestines was The Watcher, set in Romania and utterly terrifying (stalker/killer vibes). 

Yours, spookily,

Caroline x